Thursday, January 3, 2013

100 Million Little Pieces

This morning I woke up a little sore. The reason being that I spent 2 1/2 hours on my hands and knees cleaning out my boys’ toy room last evening. I pulled out a whopping 4 trash bags of broken, mismatched or never used toys and I thought my kids were going to hyperventilate. 
I learned 4 very important things while lost in the labyrinth of childhood glee. 
1. My children have an exorbitant amount of measuring tapes. 
Here are just a few of their stash.
This worries me.
It seems like every box or basket I went through, I found at least two measuring tapes.  These are not little “play” measuring tapes either, they are the real thing that you pick up at your local hardware store and I have no idea how they have acquired so many. I’ll be honest, I’m a little panicked that I am raising two kleptomaniacs with a fetish for construction materials.
On the bright side, if you need a measuring tape, I’m your gal.
2. Every box, bin and basket has something creepy, slimy, sticky, or ….well, just creepy inside. Some strange rubber bug, slimy fake worm, or creepy dinosaur was constantly being stuck to my hand or person through-out the 2 hour ordeal. I felt like I needed a shower when I finished. Ugh.
3. I’m raising pack rats. 
This is distressing because I am not in any way a pack rat. If I am good at nothing else, I am good at cleaning out and saying goodbye to things that I don’t use or need.
When I pull out Summer clothes and put away my Winter stuff, I always get rid of whatever I didn’t wear over the last season. If it doesn’t fit or it’s not comfortable, it’s gone. I’ve even went in and had interventions with my Mother about her clothing  and if she really needed those 4 black suits. …The answer was no, she did not.
My point is that I have no idea where my kids get this panic obsession with keeping every single thing they have ever received from every party, parade, or McDonald’s Happy Meal. It’s become a major black ops initiative to slyly throw stuff away on the down low…..and heaven help me if they catch me in the act. It usually results in a manic, crying fit where we end up having a “come to Jesus” talk about how one day soon we will not be able to live in our house because we will have no where to walk or sleep. Because of this, I am very sneaky in my removal of all the rubbish. What they don’t know, won’t hurt them.
I should have been a Navy Seal.
4. I’m as serious as a heart attack when I say this…
Next Christmas, if any of our family or friends gives my kids a toy or gift that has 100 million little pieces to it, it’s gonna get ugly.
Oh, how fun it is to step on these!
My Hubby and I decided last night that we think a proper punishment is to toilet paper their trees and landscaping and soap the windows to their car. 
It will happen.
You’ve been warned.
We can walk through the play room now, so I guess it was all worth it..
Have a great day!

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