Monday, November 12, 2012

From Fem/Pop to Fem-Fatale

My Hubby was finally released to come home today! We are so relieved and our boys are delirious with joy, except they can’t wrestle their Dad, so they are a little confused by that. Here is a picture Ben drew for his Daddy…
002 sweet.
Just to explain, my Husband had a Fem/Pop Bypass that was caused by entrapment syndrome behind the knee.  Basically his Femoral Artery was getting cut off by an abnormal tissue, whenever he contracted his muscles, his whole life and was causing severe circulation issues which resulted in an aneurism in his left leg last year. They fixed his left leg exactly one year ago and last Thursday they fixed the right leg because is was on it’s way to aneurising and they wanted to prevent that from happening. So they did a bypass, just like they do in hearts, and went around the entrapped area to restore blood flow.  If you would like to read a little more about what exactly a Fem/Pop Bypass is, just click on the link..
Before we were released today, we met with the Surgeon and his PA and they were a little concerned with the swelling on my Hubby’s leg, so the Surgeon looks at the PA and says, “Why don’t we order him up some stockings. Probably need to be the thigh high ones.”
1.  He said it straight faced.
2.  You know I can’t let that go.
And me, being me, couldn’t resist letting out a “whoo hoo.” and then, of course, I added,”I’ve always wanted to see him in stockings.”
Then, I realized that maybe the Doctor and PA wouldn’t find me near as funny as I think I am.  Fortunately, the Surgeon, who is the most straight laced, no-nonsense person I’ve ever met, smirked and said, “Sorry….they aren’t the lacy ones.” (Once again..completely straight faced.) Then I replied, “Do we at least get matching garters?” To which the PA replied, “Hey, this is serious medical stuff going on here…and the garters are completely up to you, but remember he is kinda at your mercy right now, so have fun with that.” …it’s nice to know that we were all just a little deranged today. 
Then, before we could leave, they ordered a Doppler test done on the leg to measure blood flow.  The girl came in to do it, and when she did the Doppler the whoosh-whoosh… whoosh-whoosh sound of his heart beating, filled the room.  I had a flash back to hearing a similar little heart beat in my belly in the obstetricians office and then..once again, not being able to help myself… I said to the girl, “So?…Is it a boy or girl?”  To which she laughed hysterically and then I said, “Hey, don’t laugh, I just discussed what kind of stockings we were getting for him and now we hear a heart beat. I’m starting to get a little uncomfortable.” 
I can’t tell you what Adam said because it is against by delicate sensibilities to repeat such things.
So, I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that if you ever have a Fem/Pop Bypass, you will become a cross-dressing, pregnant man with a bad attitude.
So happy my shnookums is home!
Have a great evening!

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